CF because of a disabled sibling

I hope it’s ok I just want to get something off my chest. So one of the reasons I’ve decided to be CF was because my older sibling is a “special child” this never really got to me when I was younger as to me it’s a normal part of my life. When I got older and now in my late 30’s I realized the burden of having kids and help take care of my sibling is going to be hard. It is also the reason selfish as it may sound but I’m also scared if I considered to have kids that I may end up with a kid like my sibling . Last month my sibling’s caretaker took a month off and we had to split chores that’s pretty normal, and also split tasks with the care of my sibling. The first week awful. We were adjusting to our new tasks and schedule also my sibling threw a fit. My sibling made it hard for us to take care of her. I got bitten, kicked, punched, and pulled my hair. By the third week we got our chores right but sibling was still having tantrums. There were good days and bad days. At this point I’m having a realization that I can’t imagine myself having a kid and do chores and take care of my sibling that’s too much work and stress. So I guess would I be considered “selfish” by other people because of this? Also where I’m from it’s normal to have caretakers for disabled children/adults. To add my parent never did the “parentification” thing they did their best to care for all of us including my sibling. It was later on as adults that we now help out to take care of her.

The latest sitch my sister in the hospital now with the caretaker and to be honest we’re really worried for her.

I apologize if this may not a be a full on Childfree stance but I hope it’s ok to post this if not please delete it.

CF because of a disabled sibling