I feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t feel happy for people who are like “OMG WE JUST HAD A BABY!!!!” Or “WE’RE PREGNANT!”

I see tons of “congrats” “enjoy it!” yada yada yada.

Like everytime I see these posts on social media, I think to myself “congrats, you know how to orgasm in a girl’s cooch.”

That sounds childish. But it’s what I think of every single time. Now you’re advertising that you know how put your dick in a vagina and blow your load.

Or you advertised that you’re old as fuck now and your time is changing diapers, having a screaming kid in public, complaining that no one wants to hang out with you on the weekends with the 3 hours you got to have yourself, and your entire house is nothing but toys and Cheerios on the ground.

It doesn’t sound like something to be congratulated about. It sounds horrible.

I feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t feel happy for people who are like “OMG WE JUST HAD A BABY!!!!” Or “WE’RE PREGNANT!”