I just broke up with my boyfriend for drunk driving, and it hurts like hell

The title is pretty self explanatory

I met him several months back, and we’ve been dating for about 4. During that time, we developed pretty strong feelings for each other, and we both felt our relationship had long term potential. But after some time, it became apparent that he had some problematic drinking behaviors. Like needing an extra drink before bed just to sleep. Or saying that he wanted to try taking activated charcoal before a party so he could drink more

Then about two months ago, he told me he had once almost gotten a DUI several years ago. The cop decided to have some mercy on him and allowed him to catch a ride rather than go to jail. When my bf told me about that, I said “the good thing is no one got hurt, and you can consider it a warning shot.” And I said in no uncertain terms that drunk driving is a hard no. That I would be patient as he tried to cut back on drinking. But drunk driving was non negotiable. I even asked him “next time you accidentally get too drunk, will you at least make sure you get a cab home? Or call me to pick you up?” He said yes.

Apparently he was lying because last night he came home drunk. Slurring his words, smelling like beer. He had driven to a pub about a mile and a half from my apartment. He didn’t even try to cover it up.

He kept insisting he wasn’t drunk. This morning, when he sobered up, he still denied getting drunk. He kept saying “I know my body. I was fine last night.”

I pointed out that this was completely different from all the things that had made me fall in love with him. I had loved him for his cleverness, his empathy for others, the fact that he was hard working and responsible. But driving drunk was the exact opposite of all those. Doing it repeatedly shows a total lack of empathy for everyone else on the road. And if we got married, I’d have to deal with all his legal issues.

I kept asking him why he would choose drunk driving over me. He just mumbled a few half answers and proceeded to pack up all his things.

At one point I said “You must not love me if you’d rather drive drunk.” He insisted “I DO love you.” But he wouldn’t give me a reason why he’d cross that line when I had been pretty damn clear about it.

But that’s addiction for you, I guess.

I just broke up with my boyfriend for drunk driving, and it hurts like hell