Losing a parent

I am the youngest of three and the only girl.
I’ve known since is was 15 that I didn’t want kids, and perhaps because both my brothers have children now, my parents have always been indifferent about me having kids. Not in a bad way, just if it happens it happens and if not, that’s cool too. Never been a big topic.

I’m in my thirties now, and I’ve had the chance to travel and live in a way that a kid would never allow.

My father is dying. He has weeks left.
I traveled across the world to be here with him. My life and the nature of my work allows, that I am able to drop everything. I can work from anywhere at any time.

My brothers have commitments to their spouses and especially their children. So they are not able to be here as often. I don’t fault them that, it’s just the way it is. They still come several times a week so they are not neglectful at all.

I tuck my father in when he is tired and I help the nursing staff, when he has thrown up and needs cleaning.
I don’t see it as a chore, I see it as a duty and a privilege of sorts, to be able to help my dad in his final days.

I know I won’t get the same treatment if I get sick like this, since I don’t have kids. That’s not really the point of this.

I’m just saying, that our parents, the boomer generation perhaps, that are some of the loudest about us having kids, haven’t realized yet, that perhaps they should be grateful that they have a child that remain childfree.
If you have raised them with love and respect and understanding, I believe that they will most often then not, stand by you in the last days. Perhaps in ways not a lot of other people can.

I know I’m very fortunate in the ways my life has turned out so far, and not all childfree people has the same privilege.
It’s just something I’d like to share, in a place that might understand where I’m coming from.


Losing a parent